Funny Thing #1

I was cleaning up my computer, and came across this gem. It made me laugh out loud, even though I've obviously read it before. Enjoy.


How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days...

Day 1
Meet him at a party
Have sex
Do the helicopter move (use your imagination)
Ask him if you look fat
Name his penis

Day 2
At dinner, sit on the same side as him
Ask him if the waitress is prettier than you
Don't order anything
Ask him if he thinks your fatter since Day 1
If you feel it's time, tell him you love him

Day 3
Call your ugliest friend for a girls' night out...
...then show up where he is with his buds
Tell them you're his girlfriend and ask for their advice
Drive by his house - more than once
Cry after sex

Day 4
Get up early and clean his house, then stay until you're forced to leave
Leave a copy of "Brides" magazine at his house
Call him and ask what he's doing that night. If he's going out, refer to it as a 'boy's night out'
When he gets home, get dressed and drive to his house FAST, before he passes out
Bring a pillow and an overnight bag
Cry after sex

Day 5
Call his mom and introduce yourself
Talk in your cutest baby voice - all the time

Day 6
Refer back to Day 1 and say "Remember when...?"
Make him a mix tape with all your favourite songs on it
Brag about how much you didn't eat that day

Day 7
Tell him you love him and immediately 'shhh!' him and say he doesn't have to say anything because you know in your heart how he feels
Tell him you've stopped taking the pill because you thought it was making you fat...
...Ask him if he agrees

Day 8
Tell him this is the longest you've ever dated someone...
...And that you met your last boyfriend on the net

Day 9
Move into his neighbourhood
Invite your parents to meet him

Day 10
Tell him he's changed and you don't even know him anymore
Hide in the bushes (he may be cheating on you!), then confront him - yell, cry, throw your shoe at him
If nothing works say, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be."
Go to a party
Meet someone else